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The reason I decided to blog

This is the post excerpt.

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Hello Everyone!!!

I decided to write this post because my husband and I are struggling with infertility. I will not disclose my real name as of right now because I’m not ready to let everyone who reads this to know my name yet. I guess you can say I’m kind of ashamed right now. My husband and I been trying to conceive for the last  three years. I’ve had all kinds of test ran to find out what was the issue. After the doctors perform a “hsg” test they found out the dye wasn’t passing through my fallopian tubes. They were twisted which was causing them to be blocked. Since finding out the news two years ago, I’ve been devastated. My husband has been so supportive. After seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, we found out there was hope. We could do into vitro fertilization commonly known as “IVF”. Our doctor told us it would cost us about 15,000 to 2000. That immediately threw a damper on our spirits. Our insurance wouldn’t cover it, and we didn’t have 20,000 just laying around. I didn’t want to take out a loan for this because the interest was ridiculous. As I continueto blog, I will tell more about my situation. Feel free to respond

post

Another day without any children

Hi guys!!! Just wanted to check in. The weekends where my husband and I both off are the hardest. I feel as if those are the days we are suppose to be out at the park or the zoo or something with our children. Today my husband was like, “baby can you stop by the snow cone place so I can get a snow cone” of course I was like sure. He then replied “ can you get out for me, I don’t want to get out amongst all those kids and I don’t have a child with me” after seeing the kids we didn’t even stop. How is everyone else dealing with infertility?

Checking in

Hello everyone!! Some days are worse than others. This past month has been pure hell. We want this so bad. I’m losing myself. Any one have pointers like real life pointer? Don’t say pray because I do that already constantly all day and will continue to do that. I just need some real life advice on how to get through this situation or how to just let it go and accept it?

A post I saw on facebook

This was a post I saw on Facebook so these are not my words but it is so true.

Lord, when she opens up her Facebook and sees another pregnancy announcement…and then another…and another…guard her soul from the heartache that might overwhelm her and the emotions of jealously that might drag her down and cause her to feel like a horrible person. Give her the strength to hold on to hope and the faith to believe she is next. Because in that moment? She will want to give up. And she will feel forgotten. Left out. Abandoned. Overlooked. Remind her in some tangible way that You are working and the desires you have planted in the soft fertile soil of her heart, You will one day have growing in her arms. Do the impossible in your situation, Lord. Open wombs. Balance hormones. Clear out Fallopian tubes. Remove cysts. Mature and release eggs. Command all chromosome abnormalities to disappear. Open the doors for adoptions. Remove any obstacle standing in her way that is keeping her from being able to make that same announcement. It’s in Your name I pray.

Again, I do not on the rights to this music

Something to ponder 

Do you know what it’s like to get invited to friends and family baby showers and you make up excuses not to go because u don’t want to become depressed? Do you know what it’s like to want to delete all social media and cut off connection from everyone because everywhere you look everyone is announcing their pregnancy or posting their new bundle a joy?  It’s so hurtful but I’m reminded of Hannah in 1st Samuel who wasn’t able to have children but after praying and fasting and believing in God, god blessed her with a child. This journey is rough. I know they are more people out there that are like me; they are battling with this issue but ashamed to talk about it. It should be more financial resources for us. Ladies keep your head up and keep praying 

Question

Do you know what it is like for a doctor to look in to your eyes and to tell you, you can’t conceive naturally?That’s every woman dream is to get married and have children. It sucks to pay all that money for insurance and you can’t use it. I have disguised myself because I’m so uncomfortable about the situation. I cry every day. Do you guys think it would be a wise decision to set up a go fund me account to help with the cost of infertility? We have applied for grants and were denied. What a heartbreak!!!What do you all think?